your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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