I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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