We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
