I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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