uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
