Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
