: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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