what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
