is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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