what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
