I heard we made out
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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