I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
