I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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