Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize