i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
