I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
