i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
