OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
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you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
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This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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