Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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