You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
