I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
