areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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