Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
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I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
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I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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