So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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