as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
