Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
