What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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