yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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