She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
