woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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