I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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