i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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