8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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