Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
