doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
