Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize