**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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