im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize