Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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