That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
