No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize