I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
