so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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