the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
