mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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