I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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