3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
