Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
