Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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