READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
