I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
