so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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