That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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