Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize