May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
