..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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