So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
