you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
