Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize